No but seriously, burgers and sandwiches are seriously a staple of American food, and internationally everyone knows it. Just like we imagine the Brits eating fish and chips with their tea (not at the same time. necessarily.) and the Japanese eating rice with their tentacles and the Mexicans all over their beans and cheap tequila, people look to America for hamburgers, and we sure as hell respond like a former colony turned a nation through cooking right*! Yeah USA!
So we're giving you another chance just in time for the holiday: the return to school. What? You don't celebrate that?
Spicy Black Bean Sliders
If you're a pansy like me, these will be spicy. If you aren't a pansy like me, you may want to spice this up by dropping in some minced and seeded japaleno peppers. I prefer my taste buds intact. Delicate inside dweller and such.
Ingredients:
2 15 oz cans black beans
1/2 cup white onion, finely chopped
1/2 cup fresh cilantro (we really like cilantro, k?)
1/3 cup flour
1/3 cup bread crumbs (low fat. duh. we enjoyed using panko for this, actually)
4 garlic cloves, minced
1.5 tsp coriander
1.5 tsp cumin
1.5 tsp cayenne pepper
1 egg white
1 loaf french bread
You remember when we made falafel? We're doing the same thing here, so pull up your suspenders and be awesome about it.
So the first step we do is fairly straightforward: drain the beans and throw everything all nice and neat and chopped and dead into your food processor. If you're anything like me, you have a lot of ingredients, so you're allowed to blend in steps. I won't judge too much.
You'll want to ensure the mix is essentially a thick paste, because that's how we roll here. Use the pulse button, or turn it rapidly on and off like an ADHD-addled toddler, whatever gets it there.
Shape the guys into patties and dust with flour. We're making sliders here, so we made ours kinda smallish, but normal sized is fine too, because burgers are just as legit. We just wanted to be classy about ours. Then throw these guys in your skillet with (as per the usual) PAM and grill until done on both sides.
You'll want to cut your French bread into slices and throw them into the oven to crisp. Or maybe you don't like them crisp. You can do whatevs, really. We're sort of passive about what you choose to do, because we already ate the hell out of these with fine mustard, and they were wonderful. But spicy.
My pansy tongue cried for a moment and then reveled in the glory. And the beer helped drown my spicy agony. My delicious, delicious agony.
* "cooking right" includes help from the French, many years of unnecessary bloodshed, overbearing influences from capitalism and religion, and a society hinging on materialism and atherosclerosis. And also frying everything with a name and nutrition facts.
Next on the list of corruptions:
Lasagna
Crab Cakes
Tiramisu
Pizza
Noodle Kugel
This looks yummy.
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